The year is coming to an end. Time flies, doesn’t it? I remember writing “2003” in my school notebook, and it will soon be 2018! I’m still young. But I feel like I need to do things faster. Better. More effectively. Do you know that feeling?
I feel so insecure. I’m not good enough and lost. I’m being judged all the time… There are people supporting me, but I’m still not happy and I feel even worse because of that. I just feel guilty that despite all the positive things I received I still can’t be happy. It’s like… I’m not worth it? I’m not good enough for people to care about me. But they do. I’m so confused.
I got a breakdown lately. The only thing I could do was crying. I stopped eating properly, I got sick and very weak. Not cool. My Bear helped me and is still helping me. He’s the person who shouldn’t see how weak I am, since I was acting strong all the time. But… He gives me the best nice warm strong hug I could imagine. He doesn’t judge. He tries to understand, and if he can’t, he respects my decisions and tries to discuss them with me.
My condition is slowly becoming better. I realised I shouldn’t wait to become perfect. I will never be anyway. This is my time. I don’t want to regret things I haven’t done. I got the most beautiful person who supports me no matter what. I got a talent. I am young. What else do I need?
A little bit of luck maybe, haha
Writing things down is so calming 🍁