Doing what I want to do

/Diary 14.12.17/

The year is coming to an end. Time flies, doesn’t it? I remember writing “2003” in my school notebook, and it will soon be 2018! I’m still young. But I feel like I need to do things faster. Better. More effectively. Do you know that feeling?

I feel so insecure. I’m not good enough and lost. I’m being judged all the time… There are people supporting me, but I’m still not happy and I feel even worse because of that. I just feel guilty that despite all the positive things I received I still can’t be happy. It’s like… I’m not worth it? I’m not good enough for people to care about me. But they do. I’m so confused.

I got a breakdown lately. The only thing I could do was crying. I stopped eating properly, I got sick and very weak. Not cool. My Bear helped me and is still helping me. He’s the person who shouldn’t see how weak I am, since I was acting strong all the time. But… He gives me the best nice warm strong hug I could imagine. He doesn’t judge. He tries to understand, and if he can’t, he respects my decisions and tries to discuss them with me.

My condition is slowly becoming better. I realised I shouldn’t wait to become perfect. I will never be anyway. This is my time. I don’t want to regret things I haven’t done. I got the most beautiful person who supports me no matter what. I got a talent. I am young. What else do I need?

A little bit of luck maybe, haha

Writing things down is so calming 🍁

See u.



Ferris wheel

The main point of the Christmas festival in PoznaΕ„ thia year is the ferris wheel! It’s the first time ever something like this happened. It looks absolutely gorgeous!

I know it’s still a month ’till Christmas. But I just couldn’t stop smiling!

The whole square looks stunning, but I’m going to write more about it in December :3

As you can see, ferris wheel is noticable from a distance and looks just magical! Moreover, in the evening different colours are projected on the device. MAGIC.

Early birthday with 🐻

Monday, November 13 = my 21st birthday. But yesterday my Bear organised a little surprise birthday party for me, so just the two of us could celebrate. So sweet ❀

I’m having a party for my friends on Friday. I can’t wait!!!

I’m writing this particular entry to thank my one and only Bear for the best evening I could wish for for my birthday ❀

So my 🐻, thank you so much! I love you!

Old hobbies 🎸

Yesterday I picked up my good old bass guitar!

The most beautiful guitar in the world! I’m not a good musician. It’s more like I play for fun, just following tabs on the screen rather than learning the songs by heart.

Why not change it? I think I can manage the time better now! I’ll find a minute to play for sure. Yesterday I had so much fun playing “shunkan sentimental” and “onegai navigation” by SCANDAL, “the beginning” by ONE OK ROCK and “miseinen” by the GazettE. Today my fingers hurt, haha

What instruments do you enjoy playing?

Have a good day everyone!!!


Autumn is my favourite season. Totally. I love warm drinks, cosy blankets and golden leaves everywhere. It’s been pretty warm past few days and I truly enjoyed it! Long walks in the forest, enjoying coffee or tea in the sun… it’s just perfect.

I’ve started a university! I’m studying English Philology and I’m also on Celtic Studies. All scraps of information about British Isles I had in my mind are slowly coming together. That’s quite an amazing experience!

Also, I discovered a few new places that offer great deals for students, especially when it comes to food. By the way, watermelon juice (in the photo above) is so delicious!

I tried some autumn options at Starbucks as well. Yummy ^^

Time to go back to study… See you next time! Bye bye  -^^-

Postcards! #1

I decided to show you my collection of cute and amazing pictures! Each one of them contains a certain memory or a nice word that made me really happy.

Since I collected quite a lot of postcards I won’t show you all of them at once! Let’s start with the ones I got recently from the very special people.

Those three are from Bear. He gave them to me after his trip to UK. I have to say, the quality is amazing.

These two are from Katie and Blu. They are so nice!

Thank you very much for all the postcards! See you soon ❀

Village from the past!

Hello! Yesterday I went to an awesome event, the Archeology Festival. The weather was definitely English… But I had a lot of fun anyway!

The event was held in a reconstructed prehistoric village filled with not only merchants and barbarians, but very handsome Scottish gentlemen as well. Cool, right?

The main attraction was the battle. Well, a lot of battles to be precise. Men dressed as warriors were fighting all the time. But some of them came on a stage and gave a short explanation about their costumes and weapons.

When it comes to houses in the village, all were crowded and people were selling things inside. The empty ones were very dark and usually full of smoke from the fire. They were so cosy! I managed to take a photo of some herbs drying near the ceiling.

There were tents as well. This area is supposed to be the Roman camp. Unfortunately everyone went to participate in one of the battles so the camp was empty.

Here you can see a clay oven, used mostly to bake bread. I think I saw three of them yesterday.

Don’t forget about animals! Only cows remained outside, because of the weather. Brave ones!

Sometimes you have to travel. That’s why you need boats. This one was very pretty!

BONUS photo. You better not make me angry! Haha

You could try on some armour and pose with weapons. They were quite big and very heavy! It was so much fun!

The final event was an Irish dance performance. The dancers taught us some moves after the show! I think it was the best point of the festival!

That’s it for today. You should definitely give a festival like this a try, it’s just awesome. 

Have a nice week everyone! See you soon!

Wild art

Art can be found in the most unexpected places. I went for a walk yesterday and I spotted some strange things. Mirrors, sculptures and others which I have no idea what to call. But I was quite sure they don’t belong near the lake. Or do they?

I took only two photos, since I didn’t have that much time. The first one is called “star”. Well, it was impossible to guess! Haha

The other one really caught my eye. This artwork is called “malum” (“evil” in latin). For me it represents the endless hole that swallows every good thought. It looks great, especially with the water around. By the way, did you know that “mal” in spanish means “bad”? I was very happy that I still remember something from spanish!

I will definitely come back and see the rest of the “wild” exhibition.

Do you like art?

Have a great, inspirational day!